Dark Dreams 0: The Drabbles of Time
by Rhea Hiryuu
Summary: SERIES DISCONTINUED A collection of random drabbles connected to my ongoing story Dark Dreams, written for laughter and kicks. Hope you like! Also, random crossovers ahead!
1. Worse Than an Inner Demon

A/N: IMPORTANT NOTE!!!

This is NOT an actual story, this is a collection of DRABBLES connected to my story 'Dark Dreams' and 'Dark Dreams 2: Undying'. They're pretty random and don't really have any place in the story itself, so if you've read the story, you'll understand them, though I will try to put place markers so that you know _where_ in the stories' timeline it might take place, just so you don't get confused.

XP

(Dark Dreams 2, around chapters 4-6)

He could not take his eyes off her. She was so beautiful, so perfect. Everything about her, from her fiery red hair, to the markings on her body. She was wearing a dress today, something she hardly ever did, and it suited her so well, accenting her perfect curves, bringing out the color of her eyes, of her lips. She strode towards him with the grace of a queen, purpose in her eyes. Why, why couldn't she be his? Why? His desire was so great that it _burned_ inside, it ate at him with every step she took, her hair flying gently behind her.

She was everything he wanted in a woman, she was smart, beautiful, strong, he even loved her temperament, though it was sometimes hard to deal with, he simply couldn't help but love her every little quirk and flaw. To him, they weren't flaws at all, they were what made her _her_, they made her _Kaida_. She was perfect, in every way, she was _perfect_.

"Prince." She said.

"Yes?"

"I have decided." She told him. His heart sank and his breath caught in his throat, was she going to leave? No, no she couldn't! No! "I have decided, to marry you." She told him.

Joy like hot water flooded him, starting from his stomach and passing all over his body, becoming a look of pure elation on his face as he took her by the shoulders and stared into her golden eyes, "You—you do? You will?" He breathed, hardly daring to believe it. It was almost too good to be true!

"Yes. I know that there will be problems in the future, Prince, I know that it won't be easy. But I realize that I love you, I do, I love you with every fiber of my being, with everything I am, I love you, and I want to be with you forever." She told him, her own smile turning her already beautiful features into simply stunning, he almost felt blinded by the beauty of it, "I know whatever happens to us, we'll work through it. Love is the most powerful force in the universe, and even if this cursed _is_ passed from me to our children, I know that our love will make them strong enough to take control of their inner demons, just as I have. I know that I can learn to be a strong Queen for you, and we'll lead Babylon into an age of prosperity, you and I."

"I love you so much." The prince breathed, bending down to kiss her.

"And I love you." She said, closing her eyes to anticipate the kiss.

BAM!!!

Suddenly she let out a cry and fell, there were more shots, culminating into dots of freely bleeding wounds upon her perfect body. The prince stared down at the figure that was once his beloved, his Kaida, watching as she gasped her last breaths.

With a roar of outrage, he spun around, taking out his sword to cut down the assassin…

Only to find _Kaida_! Standing _there_, and also laying down _there_. But the one on the floor was so much more beautiful, so much more attractive, and so _wonderful_! What was going on!?

The other Kaida did something to the long stick like weapon in her hand to make it click and she then pointed it at the one on the floor and another long string of bangs sounded. "Alright," She said, her voice filled with barely suppressed rage, "WHO LET HER OUT!?" She demanded.

_"It wasn't me! I promise! You know I hate her just as much as you do!"_ Monigan exclaimed, holding up her hands as the other Kaida pointed the gun at her.

And suddenly something clicked, and the prince buried his face in his hands, "She…she's another Inner Demon, isn't she?" He asked.

"Nope, worse." The _real_ Kaida answered, poking the fake with her foot. The fake twitched and she sent another chain of bangs down at her, aimed directly at the head, turning it into mush. "Much, _much _worse, prince. She's my inner Marry-Sue." She answered in a low, dangerous voice.

_"And you completely fell for her."_ Monigan snickered. _"Time to point and laugh everyone!"_ She said, and she then lead the other inner demons into completely ridiculing the prince, who felt so sick with himself that he attempted to take his sword and run it through his chest. Kaida, however, stopped him.

"You're never going to let me live this down, are you?" He asked her.

"Nope." She answered, grinning evilly at him. "Afraid you just screwed yourself, Princy."

XP

Rhea: Heheheheh, hope you liked it! Tell me what you think!


	2. Voldemort's Daughter

A/N: Warning, bad Harry Potter Crossover ahead!

XP

(More of a reference to chapter 6 of Dark Dreams 1)

"You what to name me _what_?!" The prince demanded.

"Voldemort!" Kaida answered cheerfully.

"Okay, what does the name 'Voldemort' have to do with not being named?" He asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Well, in this one world he's an extremely powerful evil dark lord wizard dude that everyone's afraid of, in fact they're so afraid of him they won't even say his name. They call him You-Know-Who or He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named. On my world this has sprouted up a lot of jokes, we call him stuff like, He-Who-Will-Not-Die, He-Who's-Name-Must-Always-Be-Hyphened, He-Who-Is-A-Dark-Lord-Pain-In-The-Butt, and many more. It's like they think saying the name three times will summon him or something." She looked around, and grinned, "Let's try it and see!"

"Do we have to?"

"Voldemort, Voldemort, Voldemort!" She exclaimed.

Around 20 yards away…

The Dark Lord stared around, he was in a place that he did not recognize, a place that he should _not_ be in. How did he get here? What had happened? He held his wand tightly in his hand and ground his teeth in anger. Whatever this was, _he_ did not cause it, and that was _not_ something he found particularly enjoyable.

Something moved, he spun and pointed his wand at it. "Hello, Father." Said the young girl at his wand tip.

He stared at her, his mind going almost numb with shock, no, no this wasn't right. 'Father'? Him? No, that was _impossible_! Or…was it? He faintly remembered a woman of outstanding beauty a long time ago but…that memory was blurred, and he couldn't quite grasp it properly. Father? No, this girl was raving, it was impossible.

And yet he lowered his wand, she looked like that woman. Her hair the color of fire, her eyes the color of the sun. She was beautiful, extraordinarily beautiful, she looked like him in a way, she looked like Tom Riddle. Could it be possible?

"Explain, girl. What do you mean?" He asked her slowly, "Talk swiftly."

"I guess I shouldn't be surprised…but I am your daughter." She told him. She looked straight into his eyes, and there was not a trace of fear there, not even a speck, "My name is Kaida, I took the last name of my mother, Megowan, but I suppose I _should_ be Kaida Riddle. Still, I've waited a long time for this moment, when I could finally meet you." She said, "And kill you." She added, raising a wand of her own against him.

"Don't be such a fool, girl." He hissed at her, "If you truly are my daughter, then join me instead, join me, don't make such a mistake. You'll throw away your life. I don't want to kill you if I don't have to." He said.

"I'm sorry, _Father_," She spat, "But I'm in love with Harry Potter, and you have to die."

"Very well then, _Avada Kedavra_!" He cried. A blast of green light engulfed her, and for a moment, he thought she was dead, but her eyes only closed for one moment, and then they opened up again, staring straight at him, alive, wholly totally alive. "Wh-what is _this_!?" He hissed.

"I'm immune to the Unforgivable curses, my mother was of an ancient race of Sorcerers, my magic is greater than yours will ever be, and now _you_ will die! _Avada Kidavra_!" She cried, but Voldemort apperated out of the way with a crack and appeared several yards away from her, "You can't run from me forever,_ Father_!" She cried, spinning around. And then—

BOOOOOOOOOOM!!!

Voldemort stared, a _huge_ explosion had shaken the ground, and as the dust settled, he saw his daughter's body, a bloody mess, barely recognizable as anything at all in the state it was now in.

And there was his daughter _there_! Whole, alive, and holding some huge piece of muggle machinery on her shoulder. But, she was _different_, she was somehow _less_, less beautiful, less powerful, less desirable as a daughter. If _she_ had told him she was his daughter, he would neither have believed her, nor would he have cared. She didn't even _look_ like him!

She was with another, though, and the two of them walked over to where the body had once been.

"What the hell was _that_!?" Exclaimed the Prince.

"I don't _know_." Kaida answered, frowning down at the body as the Dark Lord approached them suspiciously, "I think she got _confused_. She probably thought this had suddenly become a Harry Potter fanfic when she saw _him_ and just changed herself up to fit the part." She answered.

"I'm not talking about your 'Inner Marry-Sue', I'm talking about _that_!" The prince answered, pointing to the rocket launcher on Kaida's shoulder.

"Oh, this? This is a rocket launcher!" She answered cheerfully, "Wanna try it out?" She asked, grinning.

"Uh, _yeah_!" He answered.

"Okay, you hold it like this, aim like this…" She said, showing him how to use it.

The prince grinned at the rocket launcher, and aimed it at the Dahaka, which was approaching them.

**"Etaf rouy epacse to—parc ho."** BOOOOOOOOM!!!

"Yes!!!" Cried the prince, handing the rocket launcher back to Kaida, "I have cheated fate!" He then went into rock-star mode and a stage appeared out of thin air where he began to jam his guitar and sing to Godsmack's Straight Out of Line.

"Wow, that's awesome." Kaida chuckled, making the rocket launcher disappear.

"So, you are _not_ my daughter?" Voldemort questioned.

"Nope." She answered.

"And if I kill you, will you die?" he asked.

"Uh, no, not really."

"Why not?"

She took off the ring and transformed into her sand form, **_"Because I'm not human either."_** She answered.

Voldemort then screamed like a little girl and started running away crying for his mommy. Kaida laughed and put the ring back on. "_Wow_, that was fun!" She exclaimed, looking around, "Hmmmm," She cackled evilly, "Legolas, Legolas, Legolas!" She repeated.

But no hot elf boy appeared.

She looked around, not seeing him, and swore. "D(beep)it!" She sighed, and then she suddenly saw the prince's shirt fly past her, and a large goofy fan-girl grin spread across her face, "Oh well! I guess I'll live!" She said, spinning around cheerfully and letting out a very loud wolf whistle as the prince continued to jam in all his rock-star worthy hotness.

XP

Rhea: Yeah, I'm a die-hard Harry Potter geek, I admit it. XD


	3. A Pregnant Pause

A/N: This is short a short random idea I had, but I thought it was kinda funny. Enjoy!

XP

(Dark Dreams 2, kinda referring to the first part of the 8th chapter)

"Prince," Kaida said, approaching him, "There's something I need to tell you."

"What is it?" he asked.

"I'm afraid it's bad news…" She said grimacing.

"Bad news? Oh no, what happened?" He asked, taking her by the shoulders, concern all over his face.

"Prince," She took a deep breath, "I'm afraid that I'm…pregnant." She told him.

There was a pause.

"YES!!!" The prince suddenly shouted, but then he froze, smiled nervously, and said, "Er, I mean, oh no, that is very bad, how could this have happened, what are we going to do we can't have a baby?"

"You're not fooling anyone you know." She told him, glaring. "So you _are_ hoping I'm going to get pregnant! Ha!"

"You mean you're not?" He asked.

"Nope." She answered flatly.

"You are the cruelest woman I have ever met." He moaned.

"You know, if this were my world, I would have gotten a _completely_ different reaction…" she muttered…

X3

"Um, I have some bad news." Kaida said.

"Oh no, what is it?" The prince asked.

"I'm pregnant." She answered.

There was a pause.

"YES!!! WO HOOO!!! ALRIGHT!!! I'M GONNA BE A DADDY!!! BOO YA!!! IN YO FACE!!!" He cried skipping around the coffee shop and making a complete and utter idiot of himself.

X3

"O.o Okay, um, _that_ didn't work out too well…" Kaida said.

"Is it so wrong that I want you to have my children!?" The prince demanded, almost crying with disappointment.

"…You need help."

"I need a baby!!!"

"Go adopt one!!!"

"It's not the saaaaaaaame." He sobbed.

"I'll make you a deal prince, you carry it around for 9 months in your stomach for me, and we'll have a baby." She told him.

The prince just looked at her like she was crazy, but she simply shrugged. "You need help." He said.

Kaida glared at him. He whimpered and backed down.

XP

Rhea: Yeah, poor prince! He's just so much fun to torture! XD


	4. Meeting 'God'

A/N: AND NOW IT IS TIME FOR THE LONG AWAITED SELF-INSERTION DRABBLE!!! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

Okay, so maybe you weren't waiting for it, but you _knew_ it was coming!!! XD

XP

(At the end of Dark Dreams 2)

"Sooooooo, you're saying that, with this little glass ball thingy, we can talk to god?" Asked Kaida, looking skeptical.

"Not only that, Majesties" Said the old man, "But you may actually get to meet him. If we are able to make contact with him, we may be able to beseech him to appear before us in a human form!"

"Sounds good to me! I have a long list of complaints, maybe he can do something about them!" Kaida said, and the old man began looking nervously from her to his prince.

"I don't think it would be a good idea to, ah, _complain_ to your creator…" He said.

"I'll complain all the crap I want to! Get him on line!" Kaida ordered.

"Go ahead, let's get this over with." The prince said, grimacing.

"V-very well…" He said, and the old man then began to chant oh-so-mystically in another language over the large crystal ball before them. It began to glow, and an odd ringing sound came from it. Ringing once, twice, three times before it stopped, and a voice answered the call.

"Hello," Said the voice, "This is the Hiryuu residence, you are speaking to Kioko Night, IE: Lady Hex. If this call is for me, I'm afraid I'm out of business at the moment. I got parole you see, and until the Guild Officials stop keeping such an annoyingly close watch on me I can't so much as sell you a toadstool, please, stop, _calling_, me." It said.

"Uh…" They stared at each other. This was _not_ what they had expected to hear. "Er," Said Kaida, approaching the orb and wondering why this sounded like telephone call, "Is, uh, god there?" She asked.

"I am god." Answered the voice, but then it snickered, "Just kidding, hang on a second. FD!!! IT'S FOR YOU!!! GET YOUR BUTT OVER HERE!!!" She yelled. There was a pause, "LET IT STARVE! GET YOUR BUTT OVER HERE AND ANSWER THE PHONE!!!" She ordered.

"Phone? As in a _telephone_!?" Kaida exclaimed.

"Oh, right, you must be using a crystal ball. See, I prefer telephones, makes it easier to keep conversations a bit more private, if you know what I mean." Answered Kioko.

"Okay I'm _here_, _now_ what?" Demanded an irate voice from the other side.

"Well, you hold the phone like I'm holding it now, and you talk to the person on the other side. By the way, why is there a _girl_ calling you?" She asked suspiciously.

"I don't know, why don't you give me the phone so I can _find out_!?" He hissed.

"Um, you're holding it wrong, it goes the other way." Kioko said, sounding amused.

"What tha—" Something clattered on the other end, and Kioko was laughing.

"_Here_ you big baby." Kioko said, and suddenly their voices became clearer and easier to here, "Now it's on speaker, you can talk into a speaker, _right_?" She asked sweetly.

"Shut up!" He answered, and then, to the speaker, "Who the hell are you and what do you want!?" He demanded angrily.

"Well, for one, my name is Kaida Megowan, and this is the Prince of Persia. Are you god?" Kaida asked.

"I am _a_ god. Do I _know_ you?" He asked irritably.

"I don't know, _do_ you? Are you the one that's making my life miserable?" Asked Kaida.

"Are you a Japanese demon? An oni?" He asked

"Uh, no, I'm human." She answered, exchanging confused looks with the prince.

"Then I'm not responsible for you in any way. I am the _oni_ god, woman, I believe you have the wrong characters." He told her.

"_Number_, FD," Kioko laughed, "She has the wrong _num—_Hang on a minute, what did you say your name was?" She asked suddenly.

"Kaida, Kaida Megowan. And this is the Prince of Persia." Answered Kaida, "So god isn't there?"

"You know what, I believe I know who you're talking about. But just to be certain, I'm going to spout out a few names that I want to make sure you recognize. Ahem, Monigan, Kukarkin, Gorra, Wemlast, Sacrosanct, Deskor, Kagero…these sound familiar?"

"YES!!!" Exclaimed Kaida, "Those are the names of my Inner Demons!!! So god _is_ there!!! Are you it then?!" She asked.

"Nope, that would be the _third_ resident of this house." Kioko answered, and then she busted out laughing, "Oh gods, I _knew_ this was going to happen someday!!! This is going to be _great_! HEY R—" But Kioko's voice was suddenly muffled on the other side.

"Don't you _dare_ call her! No, no, no! She is taking a nap, she is _asleep_! I have _peace_ for two glorious hours I have _peace_ from the parasite! Do _not_ wake her up!!!" FD hissed at her.

"Oh but we _must_ FD!" Said Kioko cheerfully, "Kaida and the Prince of Persia want to speak to their _god_! We can't refuse them! Now why don't _you_ go wake her up yourself!" She said happily.

"Over my dead body, woman!" Hissed the Oni god.

"Oh well, I guess _I'll_ wake her up…with _this_!" She said.

"What tha—where did you—how did you get that!?!?" Demanded FD.

"This may be Rhea's house, but that doesn't mean I can't put eyes in the walls, _camera_ eyes that is." She answered laughing, "Careful now!" She whooped, "Now be a good boy and go wake up our resident 'god'!" She said, and she started laughing quite heartily.

On the other side of the phone…

The Oni god, also known as Fierce Deity, stalked back into the kitchen where the phone was, looking ticked off, and carrying a still sleeping dragon girl over his shoulder. Her tail twitching slightly as she snoozed heavily.

"Um, I thought I told you to wake her up, not _pick_ her up, but this _is_ rather amusing." Kioko said, snickering.

"She sleeps like a d(beep) _rock_. I'm not complaining, but she wouldn't wake up." He answered grumpily.

"Huh…whasamater?" The girl asked blearily, raising a head full of wild violet hair, made even more wild and frizzy by the fact that she had just been picked up out of bed. She looked around at Kioko, still half asleep, "Are we…the…clipy…to…oh forget—" And she fell right back asleep.

"See what I mean?"

"What, so god's asleep!?" Demanded Kaida from the other side of the speaker.

"Her name's Rhea, and yes, she's asleep. Don't worry though, we'll wake her up." Said Kioko snickering evilly.

"Do we have to?" Grumbled FD.

"Picture." Kioko said.

"We have to." He agreed with a growl.

"Hey Rhea, guess what! FD's holding you!!!" Kioko exclaimed.

"He…wha…?" Rhea looked up, looked at her 'bed', and then… "EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!" FD tried to drop her before the fan-girl squeal, but she latched herself onto him, hearts flying up into the air from her.

"Hey, do you have visual on this thing? I want to know what the heck's going on over there!!!" Kioko heard Kaida say from the other side of the phone.

"Oh we can do more than a visual!" Kioko said, chuckling sinisterly. A few choice words of her own, and the wall the telephone was on turned, instead, into an open portal window that showed the inside of the old mans tent, revealing Kaida, the old man, and the Prince of Persia.

Kaida's end…

The portal opened up to reveal, first off, a woman dressed in black blue jeans with a dark blue and royal green striped turtle neck sweater with holes in the shoulders. Her hair was the same, blue and green streaks, with very pale skin and eyes so gold they had a reflective quality. She had to be Kioko.

What had to be FD was a giant of a man, white pure white hair, pupil-less moon-filled eyes, with red markings across his eyes and cheeks and a blue one on his forehead. He wore black spandex under a white tunic and over that was silver armor with a moon and diamond symbol on either side of the chest. He wore a white hat with armored gloves, dark leather boots, and a huge blade at his back.

The 'parasite' that was attached to him could only be a 'dragon girl'. She looked almost human, but with deliberate mistakes. Her hair was so wild and long that it defied gravity itself, it curled around her cheeks, and out poked long elfish ears, behind which were silver horns. She had magenta eyes with slits for pupils, wore a violet and blue spandex outfit with jewelry and golden boots, and she had a violet and magenta dragon tail. That had to be Rhea.

She froze in the middle of molesting the poor oni god to stare, her eyes focused on the prince and her mouth hanging open.

Kaida glared at her and grabbed the prince's arm possessively, "Mine!" She declared, "I don't care if you _are_, supposedly, 'god', he's not for you!"

But then her eyes found Kaida, and she pointed, then screamed out loud.

Kioko was now on the floor she was laughing so hard.

Kaida let out a roar of frustration and marched right through the portal, "ARE YOU GOD!?!?" She demanded angrily of Rhea.

"Am I—AAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!" She screamed, and she then began running pell-mell all around the kitchen, across the walls, across the ceiling, everywhere with her hands in the air, screaming like a lunatic. "MY FICTIONAL CHARACTERS HAVE COME TO LIIIIIIIIIIFE!!!" She cried.

"I _told_ you this would happen!!! I _told you_!!!" Kioko exclaimed, still laughing hard. "One of these days, Rhea, I told you one of these days you're gonna end up becoming the Taleweaver of some actual world and it would come back to bite you in the butt! And here you are!!!" She said.

"Wait a moment, are you saying that these people are from one of her _stories_?!" FD demanded, "Oh _gods_! WHO IN THEIR RIGHT MIND WOULD MAKE _HER_ A TALEWEAVER!?!?" He roared.

"You know, I've heard that Atropos is a little out of it these days, maybe she thought it'd be amusing, and maybe she's getting tired of Rhea making such tragic characters for her stories." Kioko answered.

"Right, and just _why_ are the _fates_ reading her stories!?" FD demanded, "For sick ideas!?"

"Well I know _Atropos_ reads them, she makes me send her the files the moment Rhea writes anything worth reading. Which doesn't always happen when she sits down at her computer." Kioko answered quite cheerfully.

"I know _one_ thing that happens when she sits down at the computer." FD said as Rhea ran right past, still screaming like a maniac. "_Peace_!"

"For _you_ maybe!!!" Kaida exclaimed, "I have a list of complaints to make!!! She's been making my life a living _hell_ and I want to know what I did to deserve it!"

"DUDE!!!" Rhea suddenly exclaimed, appearing there almost instantly, "I freak'n gave you the Prince of Persia, _and_ the Dark Prince! What are you _complaining_ about!?" She exclaimed, pointing at a very confused, and more than a little disturbed, Prince, who stepped back in surprise when she indicated him.

Kaida opened her mouth to retort angrily, but she looked at the prince, closed it, and looked back at Rhea, frowning, "But you also gave me a hulking load of Inner Demons." She shot back.

"You've got the Dark Prince lusting after you." Rhea pointed out.

"I have to wear this freak'n _ring_ so I can keep my _human form_!" Kaida argued.

"You have a smoking hot _babe_ as your fiancé." Rhea said.

"Smoking _what_!?" FD suddenly demanded.

"I have a hard time dealing with crowds!" She came back.

"I reiterate, the smoking hot _babe_ over there fixed that problem for you! He's been fixing a lot of your problems, in fact. That's what makes the story more interesting!" She declared.

"He's not _that_ attractive." FD growled to himself while glaring at the Prince.

"OoooOOOoooo, I think someone's _jealous_." Kioko snickered, grinning evilly at him.

"Jealous of _what_!?" He demanded, loud enough to stop Kaida and Rhea's arguing.

Kioko was laughing so hard she thought her lungs would burst.

"Oh well, setting that aside." Kaida said, turning to Rhea, "Just as long as I get a happy ending!" She declared.

"I'm a hopeless romantic, of _course_ you'll get a happy ending! _When_ that ending is going to be, I'm not sure…" She said, grinning nervously.

"Why am I not reassured?" Kaida grumbled, arms crossed.

"Um, Kaida? Can we get out of here?" Asked the prince in an undertone, looking nervously over at FD, who was glaring daggers at him. "I think the oni god wants to kill me because his woman thinks I'm attractive…" He whispered.

"SHE'S NOT MY WOMAN!!!" FD roared.

"_My_ you're defensive!!!" Kioko exclaimed.

"Who's he talking about?" Rhea asked desperately, but Kioko only laughed harder.

"Riiiiight, yeah, I've seen enough, let's go." Kaida said, and she stepped back to her side of the portal. Kioko, still laughing, closed it behind them.

"That was…"

"Never to leave this tent." Kaida finished.

"Agreed." Said the prince. They looked at the Old man, but unfortunately for him the sight of the portal had been too much on his weak heart, and he died.

"Oh well, we weren't going to do _that_ again anyway."

XP

Rhea: And now you have a description of me, Kioko, and the object of my molestation, FD!!! Who is actually Fierce Deity from Legend of Zelda: Majora's Mask. The very last transforming mask that you get just before fighting Majora. XD Unfortunately for me, he hates my guts. Oh well, you can't force someone to love you, all you can do is stalk them and hope they panic and give in:D Now if you'll excuse me, the blatant fan-girl in me is vying for attention, and my prey awaits! (Puts on ninja outfit and leaves by crawling stealthily along the walls so she can get the drop on an unsuspecting and unfortunate FD)


	5. A Typical Date

A/N: And here you go!!! Sacrosanct and Dark Prince going out on a date! Hope you like!

XP

(Sorta kinda after Dark Dreams 2: Undying)

So the Dark Prince and Sacrosanct are both sitting in a restraint, for the sake of argument, let's say Sacrosanct has taken the appearance of Kaida's Sand form and we'll leave it at that.

Sacrosanct sipped her tea, leering over the cup at the Dark Prince, who was just sitting there on the other side of the long-seated table, grinning at her. He use to have a cup of coffee, but the moment he sipped it he decided it had displeased him, and was now decorating the wall right next to them. He now had nothing whatsoever to do except stare at her until their food came. And she was getting annoyed.

**_"So, do I want to know why we're here?"_** She asked him in a cool, quiet voice.

**_"Well, we're on a date."_** He answered.

**_"We are?"_** She asked slowly, raising an amused eyebrow.

**_"Yes, we are."_** He answered quite cheerfully.

**_"Uh huh, so tell me, what, exactly does the dark side of an ancient Babylonian prince know about modern dating?"_** She questioned.

**_"Well, first I take you to a restraint, which I did."_** He began.

**_"No, you skipped a step, first you ask me if I want to go on a date with you."_** She corrected.

**_"A-s-k? What does this 'a-s-k' mean?"_** He questioned innocently.

Sacrosanct chuckled and put down her cup, **_"Setting that aside, what comes after the taking me to a restraint?"_**

_"Well, we order our food from those plaques,"_

**_"Menus."_** She corrected.

**_"Yeah, don't care. And after that our food comes to us. I take a bite, loudly declare that the food is substandard and demand it be taken back and redone completely. I repeat the process three times, while you sit there and rub your temples in annoyance for some reason, while I explain that I want everything to be perfect for us and that food was not perfect."_** He said.

Sacrosanct looked at him, then she began snickering, **_"Well, I'd say you're on the right track, what happens next?" _**

**_"Then I take a bite of your food, declare it imperfect, and demand it be redone as well. Then, when the food is finally good enough for you, we begin talking about useless crap that no one really cares about, and then go on about how glad we are that the other could come here tonight. I'm thinking about skipping that part though because I cannot see what use it is. Then we finish our food and go take a midnight stroll in the park. Some gangsters attempt to take you from me, I beat them to a pulp, or kill them, I prefer the latter, and then we make out until our brains bubble and fizz right out our ears under the lamplight of the park."_** He went on.

**_"Sounds good so far, but I'd like to be included in the killing part."_** She told him.

He sighed, **_"Oh, if you must. Anyway,"_** He continued, **_"After that, we go back to my place!" _**

**_"Hnhnhn, you don't exactly have a place, but let's say we go somewhere…private."_** She said, smirking, **_"Go on." _**

He grinned, **_"Then we get naked." _**

**_"Aaaaaaand?"_** She pressed on.

**_"And, then we realize that neither of us has a condom, and you're not on birth control either. We both get our clothes back on in a hurry and run to the store to find a convenience store. After that we come back and get frisky again. Unfortunately I start fumbling with the condom, I admit this is my first time and you give me a look of utter disgust and incredulity. I try, and fail. Then you make me take these little blue pills that are suppose to help, and I'm back in the game. But the condom gets torn and I have to get another one on. Now completely pissed off, you get your clothes back on and leave, telling me I'll be lucky to ever see you again and you're off to find a real man."_** He explained, **_"See, now, that's the part I'm not entirely sure I like and…why are you laughing?" _**

Sacrosanct was trying so hard not to laugh and failing so miserably that her cheeks had a purple tinge to them. **_"Let me guess, you've been doing some 'research' on this subject by spying on other modern-day teenage boys in their mating habits?"_** She asked him.

**_"Did I choose an invalid source?"_** He questioned. **_"Because I did this study on a wide age group, including television as well as real-life experiences. A lot of things didn't make sense to me though. For instance, how do these little pills keep women from bearing children?"_** He asked. **_"And also, what the f(beep) is the purpose of giving the female flowers!? What good are flowers!? At least jewelry they can adorn themselves with, but flowers? Those don't even last very long!"_** He exclaimed.

**_"So what did you bring for me?"_** She asked, looking amused.

He grinned, took a package from his belt, and slid it over to her to open.

She did so and looked down at it, smirking, **_"Oh Prince, you shouldn't have."_** She chuckled, **_"The authoress' silver horns, how thoughtful! And you got all six of them too. I'm impressed, how did you get them off her?"_** She asked.

**_"I actually did it as a favor for that Fierce Deity character. He says she'll grow them back, but in the mean time she's going to stay in her room…likely sobbing, until they do."_** He answered.

**_"And you decided to give me the trophies? Oh Dark Prince, this has to be the sweetest thing you could have given me."_** She cooed.

**_"So you like them?" _**

**_"Are you kidding? I love them almost as much as I love the fact that you were nasty enough to take them. I think this constitutes a second date."_** She said.

**_"A s-e-c-o-n-d date? Those happen?"_** He asked, his eyes wide.

Sacrosanct leaned over the table, grabbed him by the back of the head, and stuck her tongue in his mouth for a good 5 seconds before pulling away, grinning mischievously. **_"Why don't you let me show you how we're going to end this date, hm?" _**

**_"I'm all yours."_** He answered, grinning lustfully.

Back at Rhea's…

"Hey Rhea!!!" Kioko called through the door, "Um, Sacrosanct and the Dark Prince are on the news…they're sort of destroying New Hampshire…not that anyone _cares_ but I _do_ have clients there that owe me money. They're also sort of making out on _live TV_, which is kind of disturbing to watch but I'm pretty sure if I tape it and post it on YouTube like a music video there'll be a flood of visitors…Rhea? Aren't you going to do something about this?"

A sob echoed through the door, "Just go _awayyyyy_…" The voice moaned.

Kioko rounded angrily on FD, "Alright, what did you do _this_ time!?"

"Why does it always have to be _me_!?" He exclaimed.

XP

Rhea: My horns…my beautiful horns!!! WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!!! I'LL GET YOU BACK FOR THIS DARK PRINCE!!!


	6. Chapter 17 rewrite!

Rhea: Woot! Finally another Drabble! XD

XP

(Dark Dreams 3, Serpentine. A remake of Chapter 17, heheheheh)

Kaida woke up in a dank call with the mother of all headaches, and the need for blood. It was grimy, the air was stale, and the scent of iron and blood met her nostrils as she struggled into consciousness, after having it being taken from her by whatever the heck that Shahdee-wanabe had used on her and the Prince both.

She sat up, feeling the weight of heavy iron chains binding her loosely to the wall on her wrists and ankles. She looked at them, and she looked around.

She was sharing a cell with the prince, who, of course, was chained to the opposite wall and still out cold. To her left were bars which showed her the rest of the prison, most of the cells were empty, but for a few in which she could see the others were also chained up.

_Skrew this crap_. She thought. There were no guards in the direct vicinity, so it was time to get out. She focused upon the shackles on her, and aged them so that they crumbled right off due to rust. She rubbed off the excess and went over to the prince, a small smile playing on her lips.

She bent down and captured his lips into hers, rousing him with a passionate kiss, which he soon returned, if drowsily.

And then she proceeded to tickle him.

"Gyah!!!" He exclaimed, jerking up so swiftly that he accidentally hit his head against the back wall, "Ouch! B(beep)it!" He hissed, rubbing his head, and frowning down at his shackles. "Where are we…oh, right…captured, got it." He groaned. "So are we escaping now?"

"Oh, I don't know, having you chained up like this is kinda kinky." She purred, straddling his lap with her hands snaking around his neck.

"I'm not sure I know what that means, but I'd love to find out once we get out of this mess." He said, smirking up at her.

_"So would I!"_ A familiar voice piped up.

"Wait your turn!" The both of them snapped at once.

Kaida rusted off the prince's shackles and the two of them kicked the cell open so they could rouse their friends as well.

"First order of business, kill every son of a b(beep) on this ship, while simultaneously killing the b(beep)s right along with them. The prince and I are going to handle this part of the plan, for reasons that you will make you scream and likely demand to know what the heck just happened to us." Kaida said.

"Thanks for the warning." Aizira said.

"Aizira, you and Keilic go find Kassima, the rest of you can work on making sure our ship is seaworthy after everyone's been slaughtered. Alright?" She asked.

"Who died and made you Empress?" Demanded the Prince's ship's captain.

"Kaileena you _dolt_! Didn't you read Dark Dreams 1: Breach!?!?" She demanded.

"No, why should I? I'm only a secondary character that hasn't even been introduced yet and, like the duke, has no name! I'm only doing this for a little extra gold, why should I bother reading the rest of the story!?" He demanded.

"Whatever, the point is that I _am_ the Empress of Time, the future queen of Babylon, and there's nothing you girls can do about it. So shut up with the stupid questions and get to work pronto!" She ordered.

Kaida and the prince then proceeded to transform into their sand forms.

"Awesooooooooome." Kaida's crew all said.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!" Orzan's crew all said.

**_"Blasted secondary characters, don't know awesome when they see it, do they?"_** Kage demanded, crossing his arms over his chest and glaring.

**_"It's not like they're getting paid very much."_** Kaida said.

**_"We get paid for this?!"_** Kage exclaimed.

**_"You didn't know?"_** Kaida suddenly busted out laughing, **_"Oh my gosh, you've never asked Rhea for your paycheck have you!?"_**

**_"HOW WAS I SUPPOSE TO KNOW I WAS SUPPOSE TO!?!?"_** He demanded.

"I guess the fact that you STOLE HER HORNS sort of made her a bit loath to tell you you have a paycheck." Aizira snickered.

Suddenly, at that moment, the door busted open and several cultists stared in awe and fear, "OH NOES!!!" They cried, "THE EMPRESS AND EMPEROR OF TIME WERE OUR PRISONERS!!! WE MUST REPENT!!!"

**_"Hey, hey, hey!!!"_** Kage exclaimed, **_"There is no Emperor of Time in this fic, as much as the title appeals to me, that is a shameless rip-off from DarkxPrince's story 'Darkness Within', I was already named after the main character, dangit, so call me something else!!!"_** He ordered.

They looked at one another. "OH NOES!!! THE EMPRESS OF TIME AND HER CONCUBINE WERE OUR PRISONERS!!!" They cried.

**_"That's bette—hey wait a second!!! I'M NOT HER CONCUBINE I'M HER FIANCÉ!!!"_** He bellowed, Kaida and the others all rolling on the ground laughing at this.

After that, both Kage (aka: The Dark Prince, for those of you who don't know), and Kaida proceeded to slaughter every last cultist on the ship, making for a very grotesque blood bath with very few survivors and a lot of insane laughter. Unfortunately the violence was so grusom that the authoress, being lazy, decided not to go into detail, and is instead currently snoozing at her computer desk. A very uncomfortable position, mind you. She's going to be soar for a while after this.

XP

Rhea: This drabble was requested by DarkxPrince! If anyone else has any ideas for drabbles that they'd like to see, drop me a line by review or an message! Also, since I'm really lazy and probably won't update the drabbles page as often as some of you would like, if anyone has a drabble of their own they'd like to write and post based on Dark Dreams, you're free to do it, just make sure you credit me and I'll be happeh!


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